Archive for December, 2009

Top 10 Albums of 2009

2009

Here we are in the last waning hours of 2009 and I’m sneaking my top 10 list in right before they close the books for good on this decade. As with most things here at Tough Customer, this list will defy convention. You’re not going to see any of the bands or albums that you would find on the other big, fancy - dare I say “mainstream” - lists. These are all bands flying under the radar that we’ve covered in 2009. Of course, with any luck, some of them will work their way up to the big, fancy lists in 2010.

So remember to cross your fingers, take a shot and kiss whoever is standing next to you at midnight. It’s gonna be a good year.

Top 10 Albums of 2009

10. Raised By Robots : Disorganization Will Save Us All

“…it is with great pride that I would like to introduce you to Oakland’s very own Raised By Robots. They’re one of the first bands I’ve heard that bridges the gap between post-rock and post-indie rock. The guitars and stutter step drums recall early Tortoise albums, while the floating vocal harmonies have an ethereal Grizzly Bear-meets-Radiohead quality. RBR is also prone to throwing in snippets of xylophone or drum machine ear candy, just for those of us who are listening closely.”

9. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes : Up From Below

“This rag tag posse of Los Angeles based troubadours has a care-free, yet highly musical vibe that rests somewhere between The Band and Arcade Fire. Their songs reel back and forth between camp fire sing-a-longs and full gospel revival. In between they get weird, they get funky and they get loose. It’s the kind of sound that makes me want to grow out my hair and jump on the free love express. It makes me want to share my wine and bang on a drum all day - which is probably exactly what Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros expect of their audience.”

8. Tanya Morgan : Brooklynati

“‘I sold my album out and all the haters stared hard/you put your record out for free on fail blog

That’s just half a line from a freestyle by Tanya Morgan, which is not a person, but a three man rap group hailing from the fictional utopia of Brooklynati. Apparently these guys have already spent some time freaking out rap aficionados around the internet. No doubt this has something to do with their crazy fresh beats, sick flow, and all around hip hop mastery.

7. Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band Anchors Dropped

“MSHVB do more than make quirky videos. They also play distorted, tempo shifting indie rock that packs an equal amount of brains and balls into every song. Which is like having sex with a beautiful girl and then finding 20 bucks in your pocket when you put your pants back on. And as if that weren’t enough, the line-up of MSHVB offers a story that will only add to their legend. The band is fronted by a young husband and wife team who adopted the teenage drummer as their son. Rumor has it that they formed MSHVB as a gift to him for learning to play the drums so quickly. How cool is that?”

6. Filligar : Near Or Far

“…listening to their new album Near or Far, I hear ambling, percussive indie rock. The music is anthemic at times, but mostly reminds me of a modernized version of Wilco - like if Jeff Tweedy was 20 years younger and living in a rent controlled apartment in Williamsburg. Of course, Wilco itself is somewhat derivative, so you’d also have to pepper that assessment with a sampling from rock n roll’s recent history. In all, Near or Far is an album that grows on you, with melodies and piano solos that sneak into your brain when you think you’re not really listening.”

5. Benjy Ferree : Come Back To The Five & Dime Bobby Dee Bobby Dee

Come Back To The Five And Dime Bobby Dee Bobby Dee sounds like an R&B album from the 60s recorded by AOR musicians from the 70s and driven to the record plant in a brand new Prius. The drums crackle with reverb and the piano player sounds like he just came from church. A string section fills out the low end while a guitar grinds through the mids and highs. Above it all is Ferree, singing his ass off about death, fear and a host of other existential concerns.”

4. Free Energy : Free Energy / Something In Common (7″ Ltd. Single)

“Everything about their first single evokes a summertime make-out session wrapped in the warm embrace of a beer buzz and a mild sunburn. It’s a teenage love affair circa 1979. It’s skinny-dipping in a backyard suburban pool on a hot August night. It’s a Camaro, a blended margarita and a new tattoo all rolled into one. It’s nearly perfect.”

3. Sean Bones : Rings

“Sean Bones is actually Sean Sullivan, the guitar player for Sam Champion - another fave here at TC//Wire. Under the Sean Bones moniker, Sullivan has created a laid back EP of Specials-esque ska funk. The tunes vibrate with a tropical lo-fi rhythm that works perfectly as the soundtrack to the first beer at the end of a summer day. Chances are you’ll find yourself drunk on the sound before you get drunk from the booze.”

2. The Sweet Serenades : Balcony Cigarettes

“This band does indie pop rock as well as, if not better than anybody from Willaimsburg or Silver Lake. Phoenix would be a pretty accurate comparison, but The Sweet Serenades are a little more gritty and lo-fi in a way that makes them more likeable. Their new album Balcony Cigarettes is full of jangling guitars, crisp 1970s drum lines and a panoply of hand claps, keyboard riffs, and Cheap Trick-esque vocal melodies.”

1. Red Wire Black Wire : Robots & Roses

“The record is awash in gorgeous synthesizer riffs, dance floor ready drum beats and the band’s trademark cinematic production. The lyrics pay homage to young lust and city life. At times it is catchy pop music. At others it is brooding electro-rock. There are moments of psychedelic beauty and glimpses of haunting dreams.”

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Uncategorized | 31.12.2009 20:35 | No Comments

Pig Destroyer

Pig Destroyer

If you’ll excuse me for a second, I need to talk some shit about the American consumer banking system. I know this is a tired old trope, but what’s the point of having a blog if you can’t use it as your digital soapbox every once in a while? Besides, I just got screwed over (again) by a bank, and it has left me feeling helpless and frustrated. And there’s nothing I hate more than feeling helpless and frustrated.

First, to sum up what you already know: If you want to do anything in this country, you have to be actively involved in our convoluted financial system. Without a bank account and at least one credit card, you can’t rent a car, rent an apartment, buy a house, make a plane reservation, get a phone, or participate in any other activity that requires you to demonstrate financial responsibility to one of the huge banks that we now know to be wildly irresponsible themselves. Do you make a habit of buying things with cash so that you can only spend money that you actually have? Do you feel that banks and credit card companies engage in predatory lending practices, charging absurd fees simply because they can and, as such, refuse to participate in their government regulated loan-sharking?

If you answered yes to either one of these run-on sentences, then you probably do not have sufficient credit history to rent a slice of bread. To anyone with even an ounce of common sense it would appear that you were being smart with your money; spending only what you have and avoiding companies that charge extremely high prices for low-value services. But to any landlord, credit card company, rental car agency or bank you are a deadbeat with no money who doesn’t deserve any of the conveniences of modern living.

Which brings me to the very abbreviated version of my story. I don’t like credit cards. I like to pay in cash and I like to buy things outright - not on layaway. But several years ago, I got sick of fighting with prospective landlords about my non-existent credit history. Also, I wanted to be able to rent a car when I travel. So I broke down and got a credit card. It had like, a $400 limit and I only used it to pay for my Netflix subscription. As far as JP Morgan Chase was concerned, I was the most boring, non-profit generating customer they had - which was how I wanted it.

Then I decided to start my own business. I went to get an SBA loan and the bank offered me six times more money than I applied for. When  told them I only needed 1/6th of what they were offering me, they said, “Sure, but why not take more? It’s always good to have more money than you need…” Right. Let me just go ahead and take an extra $75,000. I’m sure that will work out great for me.

Needless to say, I declined. My application was sailing through the approval process. And then the entire economy imploded and all of a sudden the bank wouldn’t loan me dime. Whereas the month before the only qualification I needed was to fog a mirror, I now suddenly needed to show tax returns with years of escalating profit. Which, as a brand new business, I did not have. So, no loan for me.

However, the filthy rat motherfuckers at American Express offered me a dozen new credit cards at a low APR. So I got one and used it to finance my business. I was very careful to keep my balance well below my limit, and I sent them at least three or four hundred dollars every month to pay down my balance. While I was not thrilled about joining the ranks of Americans carrying credit card debt, I was willing to live with it. Plus, it helped my credit score.

Then, for god knows what reason, Amex decided to lower my limit and all of a sudden I have a maxed-out credit card. This, in turn, adversely affects my credit score. The lowered credit score allows them to raise my APR, which causes them to asses a higher monthly charge, which means that I get charged overdraft fees. And only then does the real raping and pillaging begin.

I called to complain. Of course I did. But what did they say?

“Sorry sir, but we have a clause in our fine print that allows us to fuck with you however we want. Did you read that? No? I didn’t think so. That’s too bad. Not that it would have stopped you from applying for a credit card with us. Because everybody has to have a credit card, right? Otherwise, without credit, you can’t do anything in this country. And, just so you know, all credit card companies have this clause in their fine print. Banks too. So pretty much, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

Anyway, enjoy being our little bitch. Because until you can afford to pay us back - which won’t be for a very long time - you will be stuck at the bottom of a long, slippery slope that we specially designed just to fuck you up. Have a nice day.”

Fuuuuck! I am so fucking mad right now. All of a sudden, I understand why people send letter bombs or walk into corporate headquarters with a machine gun or watch Michael Moore movies. I have been royally screwed over and, because I’m poor, there is nothing I can do about it.

So, it is with a hate filled heart that I dedicate this Pig Destroyer song to every bank and credit card company in America. I hope it makes your ears bleed you fuckers.

MP3: ‘Loathsome’

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Virginia, metal | 7.12.2009 0:13 | No Comments