Archive for the 'video' Category

The Lions Rampant

There are a lot of great things about being a rock star. First and foremost is the fact that your only real responsibility is playing music for thousands of adoring fans. Other than that, you pretty much get to spend all of your time getting drunk, banging groupies and throwing TVs out of hotel room windows. Even if you end up a penniless burnout before you hit 40, you can always count on a second career doing the circuit of lucrative casino gigs and VH1 reality shows.

In fact, just the very act of playing rock music gives you enough shine to pull off a lot of cool shit. Even if you never make it past touring small clubs in a rented van, being a rock musician still justifies the tattoos, tight leather clothes and lewd behavior that you could never get away with being, say, a mid-level accountant. No guy ever walked into a bar and picked up a girl by telling her he works a low paying office job. But that scruffy looking dude making $8.75 an hour at the local coffee shop? I guarantee he’ll go home with a girl on his arm as long as he buys her a PBR and invites her to his show at the Hemlock next weekend.

Speaking of girls and rockers, I think one of the best perks would be making music videos. Even if nobody watches them, you still get to spend a couple of days in front of a camera living like a movie star. And since it’s your video, you can do whatever you want. You can launch the drummer into outer space or you can have the guitar player battle a group of axe wielding ninjas. It doesn’t matter. It’s your video.

Personally, I would take a cue from Cincinnati’s The Lions Rampant. In their video for “Lights On” - a catchy song that blends indie garage rock and 60s R&B - the band members bathe with hot naked girls, wrestle with hot girls in their underwear, and make out with and get licked by hot girls while drinking, dancing and generally carrying on.

Mel Brooks famously said it’s good to be the king. I say it’s better to play rock n roll.

MP3: ‘Lights On’